Dignified at 6pm not so much at 10

I'm gonna have to be honest with you my bloggin posse. I have a story to tell and I don't know quite where to start. It involves some inappropriateness which isn't usaully my style...but,(you knew there would be a but coming didn't you) because it was just too funny to not pass on to my friends across America I am going to take a deep breath and share my story and just hope that you don't think less of me afterward. So here we go.

John and I headed to the squadron Christmas party last night. The party I was most looking forward to because so many of my friends would also be there. The evening started out well enough. Small talk, polite laughing, it was great. My friends and I looked like this:

Lovely are we not? Well, then....after dinner was VERY much delayed, and a few glasses of champagne entered my hands and the hands of those around me; my dear friend Christina leans over and says to me, "Tell Erin her boobs look slutty." Wow, I think inside of my head. That was kind of a random thing for my usually non-crass friend to say, but naievely I proceed to oblige her because I figured it was some type of inside joke that I was being a pawn in.

"Erin," I lean over and say, "Your boobs look really slutty!"

-enter the nightmare part of my story here-

"What?!" She gasps as she grabs her very modest, non-revealing dress. Immediately alarm bells are ringing in my head as I watch her face drop in horror...abort! abort! abort mission!...back pedal, back pedal, back pedal is all I can think. So out of my mouth quickly comes, "Christina told me to say that!" followed by an akward laugh.

Well, dear friends what Christina actually apparently told me to say was, "Your BOOTS look slutty." However my hearing was muffled by the champagne churning in my very empty stomach and I took boots to an all time low of boobs. Her boots looking trashy was apparently the inside joke so when your's truly hits her with slutty boobs she had no idea why I was insulting her so. So there you have it friends. The foot with the shoe on is still in my mouth; I've been trying to pry it out since last night and let me just tell ya, it ain't budging.

So Erin:

Here's to you my friend:

And let us all remember...she told me to do it.

And let the record show I think both your boots and your breast are lovely.