One would think....

One would think these two items were unrelated:
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

But when you have a 6 year old with...shhhh, only 1 tes**ticle....who has to wear a cup to baseball practice, these two items can quickly become very related. But let me back up, a couple of years ago when Jack started playing sports I was getting him ready whilst John was out of town. I am a girl. I am very much a girl. Therefore, I had NO IDEA how this:

was supposed to go on him:


And with his urologist words ringing in my ears about how he MUST be protected I panicked. Do I go get a male neighbor?....uhhh, akward! Do I try and get a hold of John so he can give me step by step instructions?....uhhhh, I am a visual learner so no. Do I call my dad?....uhhh, I'm gonna go with akward again. So I did what all normal mothers would do, I set out to go here:

to swallow my pride, and embarass the heck out of some 16 year old sales boy to find an alternative. And thank you Lord, look what they have!:

Sliding shorts!!! They simply must have been invented by a mother in my exact situation. They are like normal spandex shorts with a small pocket in the front where you slip the cup in, GENIUS! Well, GENIUS! until a couple of years later your now 6 year old says he can put them on himself and then midway through the 1st inning you see him holding his thigh. "Jack!" I yell through the fence. "You okay buddy?" "No" he says. "I lost my, you know." as he points to his "area". And down I go through the bleachers excusing myself as I weave through all of the other parents. Get the boy off the field, into the womens restroom, pull down the baseball pants and out falls the cup. He had put his sliding shorts on inside out so his cup overfloweth. It overfloweth because the pocket was on the inside. Well, like any idiot...I mean...good mother, I hurridly just shoved the cup into place and cinched his belt tight to keep it in place. Because come on! We have a game to play and who wants to take the pants all the way off, and the belt and the kleats to get the pants off, sheesh! My solution....WORKED! Yep, it worked through 9 innings of baseball...until. Until we came home and I was making lunch and I hear, "Mooooommmmm!" "My thing fell off!" (People, I have four boys...I don't really want to hear the words, my thing fell off...ever.) So into the bathroom I go and there it is, hanging out in the blue toilet water....with pee on it. I'm not sure exactly what possessed me to place it in the dishwasher...it was empty...it was available....I think I saw it on a movie once...but I did...threw that baby in there...fired it up and one more boy like disaster averted. Whew! The angst! Don't girls just like have tea parties and stuff?